It's not a Duck Dynasty beard...

...nor is it a beard grown to honor my viking ancestors or the new season of Vikings on the History Channel.

I'm growing out my beard as a sign of public mourning. A long beard has been a sign of mourning in different cultures throughout history. Unlike the Greeks who shaved their beards as a sign of mourning, the Romans grew out their beard as a sign of mourning. Some Orthodox Jews let their beards grow wild during their time of mourning for a period of 30 days to a year, or until their friends reprimand them.

I trimmed my beard, which had grown long during hunting season, the Friday before the accident. Tiffany declared that my beard had reached a length which made it appear as though I no longer cared about life. I haven't trimmed it since then, and I don't plan on doing so until I feel like my time of grieving publicly is over. The trimming of the beard will signal the end of my public grief, not the end of the grief I will carry the rest of my life. I will not make the decision alone, my closest friends will help me decide when the time comes. Because, after all, it's very easy to lie to yourself during your time of grieving. My closest friends certainly know how my grieving is going. Though we know there are certainly wrong ways to grieve, we also know that there is no 100% right way to grieve either. I, and others, can only hope that we are finding ways to grieve well. This beard is a sign of that grief, it will be here for a while.

My beard isn't a sign that I've "given up", quite the contrary. For me, it's a sign that I'm continually examining my grief. In fact, I look forward to the day that I can trim it. Until then I will continue to shave my head and neck, as I have been, so that I don't look completely like a hot mess.

Grace and Peace,
Robert